Going After Him…

[7wildwaysup]

Title: Going After Him…
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 3084
Rating: R, Porn…
Warnings: Passion, Lust, Romance…
Beta Queen: bigj52


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Summary: Distance makes it hard to keep their relationship alive. At least until they decide to stop stalling and finally commit to one another…


Going After Him…


Brian’s POV


I let Justin go, thinking that it was best for him, and for me… I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’m lonely and I miss him desperately. He’s always on my mind, even if I don’t ever make the effort to contact or see him. Somehow I thought that it was for the best; that he would eventually forget about me and move on with his life.  Maybe I’d even do the same. Funny how life is, I haven’t been able to forget him. I dream about him every night, missing him more than I ever dreamed possible.


How do you tell someone that you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life? That you still love them, even after all this time. The hole in your heart only grows larger as the days go by. I heard through the rumor mill that he’s seeing someone new, and I wonder if he’s finally replaced me, or if they’re just filling the void. He’s the real estate broker who helped him find a decent place to live. It’s ironic, because I was the one who insisted that he get a new place, a safer place to live.


He’s a businessman just like myself, wealthy and handsome. It figures that Justin would be attracted to someone just like me. Justin said he didn’t mean anything to him, but that was eight months ago and I haven’t taken the time to visit him since then. I’m busy with Kinnetik, traveling for business meetings, and pitching new ad campaigns. I keep telling myself that it’s best just to let him go. He’s been in New York for almost two years, and over this last year we’ve both grown distant. It was hard when he first moved, but we both made an effort to see each other every few weeks. Then somehow it became every few months, and now it’s been so long I wonder if he ever thinks about me at all.


Lindsay tells me I’m doing what’s best, that it’s time to let him go, let him move on with his life. But I just can’t seem to let go. After all, I asked him to marry me. I can’t count how many times I’ve wished we had married, even if it meant that we ended splitting up. At least we would have tried, then maybe I’d be able to move on. I have a business meeting in Manhattan next week and I wonder if he’ll want to see me, or if it’s truly too late.



Justin’s POV


I’m so confused. Trent asked me to marry him last night and I couldn’t answer him. It was so unexpected and I was truly stunned. I can’t help asking myself if I love him. Sort of? But I still feel like Brian’s the one I want to spend my life with. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said it was too soon, that I needed more time. We’ve only known each other eight, maybe nine months. I know I hurt his feelings, but he has to understand. I’ve been with Brian for over six years, even if we are living in different cities. We never really broke up, we just haven’t seen each other in a long time. I blame that on me, because the last few times we were supposed to get together, I had to cancel. I needed more time to paint for an upcoming show, or I needed to attend an art opening, to be seen with the artsy types, or so my agent keeps saying.


Maybe love isn’t the right word for how I feel. Maybe I’ve been trying to replace Brian with Trent, but they’re so different from one another. Where Brian is snarky and stubborn, Trent will almost bend over backwards to do whatever I want. He never says no to me, and will do almost anything I ask, even if I only slightly hint about something. There’s no challenge with Trent, where with Brian everything is a challenge. I guess what I want is for Brian to meet me halfway.


I tried to explain my feelings to Trent, but he just goes ballistic. He can’t believe that I still have feelings for Brian. What he doesn’t understand is that I will always have feelings for Brian. He was my first love, and I’ll always see him as my fantasy man, comparing all others to him. With Trent it’s all or nothing, so as hard as it is, I have to tell Trent that it’s over. Damn! Love is never easy, but now that I’ve decided, I need to go after what I really want. I want Brian…


~~~~


I’m a little sad, having just dumped Trent and I’m feeling depressed and lonely. I called and left a message on Brian’s cell phone, letting him know that I have a new show coming up in a few weeks. I’m hoping he can come, because I really need to see him, to explain to him how much I need him. My friend Shawn thinks I’m a spoiled brat, because I think I can pick up with Brian where we left off eight months ago. I know it’s unrealistic, but I also know there’s still love between us.


Shawn and I are going out dancing, to take my mind off everything and help pull me out of my sorrows. He lights a joint and we have a couple of hits, then a few shots of Beam. It’s been a long time since I’ve been stoned, it’s something that Trent never approved of. I feel great, giddy and ready to take on the world. We’re headed out when I hear my phone ring, so I answer it. I’m hoping it’s Brian, but it’s Trent and he wants to get together and talk things through. But for me there’s nothing to talk about, it’s not like we can go back to just being friends. We were never really friends; we were lovers and now it’s reached the point of no return.


He can tell that I’m high and I can hear the disapproval in his voice. I tell him that Shawn and I are on our way out and he says I shouldn’t be spending my time with a low life like Shawn. He hates that I’m going clubbing, he’s a lot like Ethan in that respect. He never liked clubbing. All those beautiful men, dancing and drugging and especially all the anonymous sex, in public no less…


It seems to take forever to get him off the phone. But in the meantime Shawn has lit another joint and we each pound another shot of Beam, and I finally say good night to Trent. It’s Friday night and my guess is that Brian is already out with the boys, drinking and dancing at Babylon. We catch the subway to Chelsea, into the first gay club we see. We make our way to the bar and have a double Beam. At this point we’re not feeling any pain. Shawn pulls me out on to the dance floor and we let the music take us away. God, it feels so great to be here in the middle of the dance floor with so many great-looking guys. We’re all swaying to the thumpa thumpa beat of the music.


I’m happy and I can’t believe that the last time I was dancing was with Brian, the sound of the music beating right along with my heart. I close my eyes and imagine I’m dancing with him. I throw my head back, landing on someone’s shoulder. I feel welcoming arms circle around my waist and it feels so right. If I didn’t know better I’d think I was at Babylon. I feel him pulling me closer as my ass grinds into his crotch, and now I’m sure I’m wasted because he feels so much like Brian. Especially when I hear him whispering my name in my ear and he licks me from the nape of my neck towards my mouth, ending it with a passionate kiss on my lips.

He turns me around in his arms, and I open my eyes to see that it truly is Brian who’s holding me tight. Staring deeply into my eyes, he tells me how happy he is to see me and that he’s missed me. We start making out again when Shawn nods and grins at Brian. It seems that Shawn called Brian earlier this evening to ask him to come to New York, telling him that I really needed him. But surprisingly Brian was already here on business, and he was more than happy to accept an invitation to meet us at the bar. After several dances we make our way over to the bar and have another round of shots of Beam on Brian. We spend the rest of the night drinking and dancing, swaying to the music and indulging in poppers and E that Brian brought with him.


Everything is going great. We close down the bar and head back to my apartment and that’s when all the trouble starts up. I unlock my door to find Trent, sitting there in the dark waiting for me. Imagine my surprise, but also imagine his surprise when I introduce him to Brian. Brian smirks, finding the whole scenario funny. He pours us each a shot of Beam, as I freak out a little about Trent being there. I ask how he got in as I asked for my key back a few days earlier. He responds with, “As the rental agent I have keys to all the apartments.”


I tell him that he has no right to barge into my home uninvited, and I ask him to leave. He says we need to talk, that I’m making a big mistake then he asks me to go back to his house to work things out. I’m more than slightly drunk as I tell him there is nothing to work out. It’s over, and I’m still in love with Brian.


Then for some unforeseen reason, I actually bend down onto my knees and ask Brian to marry me. Brian just smiles and pulls me back up into his embrace and says, “Yes, Sunshine. I will marry you!”


~~~~


The next morning I wake with one hell of a hangover and someone in my bed with me. My first thought is to panic because for the life of me, I can’t remember much of last night. I remember smoking several joints with Shawn and having a few shots of Beam and a very bad phone conversation with Trent. But after that it’s all blurry. I know this isn’t Trent’s body, it feels way too good to be him. I think it must be Brian, but how could that be? Yet it is Brian I’m curled up with, just like old times. He feels me shift and says to stay still, then he goes and gets me a glass of water and some aspirin. I take them and smile my huge sunshine smile as I shyly ask when he got there.


Brian chuckles and says, “You really don’t remember much from last night, do you?” I shake my head and then groan from the pain of drinking too much and Lord knows what else I did. My heart is pounding as it always does when I’m this close to Brian. I ask him if he got my phone call, that there is so much I need to talk to him about. I know that things have been strained between us, but I love him and I really want to try again.


He smiles and says, “Me too, Sunshine! I know I played a big part in us not seeing each other, but I really want to try and make this work just as much as you do.”


I yawn and stretch, still feeling the punishment from last night taking its revenge on my body. Brian smiles and suggests we go get some breakfast, that before I know it, I’ll be feeling like my old self again. We get up and drink the coffee that Brian made when he fetched me some aspirin. We finally make it to the shower and it feels great to be with him again. Just looking at him and feeling his touch is bringing me to life. God, he is so beautiful and in such perfect shape, my body is on full alert. His hands feel so good massaging all my sore muscles, and I’ve always loved it when he shampoos my hair and washes my body.


He runs kisses along my neck and around to my mouth, pulling me closer to him. I feel his soapy body grinding against my torso, and I can’t help but get excited. It’s been so long since we’ve been together, and I have missed him so much. I can tell he feels the same way, as his woody prods my bubble butt. We break our kissing just long enough for him to tear open a condom, and roll it down his shaft. He gently bends me over, and squirts some lube onto his fingers, pushing them into me. I moan as his fingers fill me, it feels so right. He swishes them around my rosebud, opening me up. He doesn’t waste any time, and soon I’m penetrated with his beautiful cock. I moan in delight as I feel him lifting me up, holding me against the glass shower wall. He starts his rhythmic dance, slow and steady, then it’s more driven as he starts pumping in and out of my sweet ass.

I feel his hand swat mine away as he takes hold of my dick and starts fisting me up and down. He’s driving me crazy as he slams into my prostate repeatedly. I brace myself with my hands flat against the glass, arching my back to meet his every move. I’m truly in Heaven as he works me closer and closer to ecstasy, just a few more pumps and we’re both there. I cry out his name loud enough for all my neighbors to hear, announcing to everyone that we’re back together.


Suddenly we hear pounding at the front door. I quickly towel off and put on a pair of blue jeans, opening the door to see it’s Trent. It’s obvious that he heard us in the shower by the grim expression on his face, as he sarcastically asks if I’m still hung over. Then he pushes his way into the apartment, demanding that we talk about last night and my behavior. He even has the nerve to ask Brian to leave. I object to him barging in and I ask Brian to stay. He says that he’ll go for a walk while the two of us have our little talk. I try and convince him to stay, but he thinks we need to have this conversation in private, and finalize things between us.


Trent tells me that I’m making a fool of myself, but he forgives me. He says he doesn’t know where we went wrong, but he knows that we can fix things if we just try. I explain to him that it would never have worked, that I’m in love with Brian.  He tells me Brian will never change, that he’ll never give me what I’m looking for. He doesn’t understand that he already has. Brian being here, coming after me, is more than I ever expected.


Again he says that he forgives me for the way I’ve been acting the last couple of days. He realizes I must have been in shock when he asked me to marry him, but that everything is going to be all right. I pace the floor, trying to make him see that I’m not in love with him. That I don’t want the same things he does, or at least I don’t want them with him. But he can’t hear me and I’m starting not to care if he understands or not. I just want him to leave, and to leave me and Brian alone. I look at the clock and realize that Brian has been gone almost two hours, and I wonder where he is.


I finally ask Trent to leave.  He asks me to reconsider, to take all the time I need and really think about everything he’s said. Again I reaffirm that, as it stands right now, I want to be with Brian. My heart belongs to him.


~~~


Brian’s POV


I sit in the coffee shop across the street, reading the newspaper, watching the front of the apartment building, waiting for Trent to leave. I’ve already gone back to the apartment twice, only to hear them arguing through the front door. I was so sure that Justin would have just told him to leave, and then he would be done with Trent once and for all. But they just keep talking and arguing, and the waiting is killing me. But then I remember all the fights we’ve had, and how Justin always keeps arguing until he’s made his point clear. But they’re still up there, together, and I’m starting to worry. Could it be that Justin still wants something from Trent, still wants a relationship with him?


The idea shakes me to my core. Did I really wait too long? Is it possible that Justin has changed his mind, that his feelings for Trent run deeper than he expected? I try to remind myself that Brian Kinney doesn’t do jealousy, but then again Brian Kinney never goes after anyone either. Suddenly I get up and go down the block for reinforcements.


After returning, I start pounding on Justin’s apartment door just to be heard through all the shouting. Justin opens it, ready to push Trent out, but stops and stands there, staring at me. I’m balancing a bag of pastries, and a couple of lattes from Starbucks in one hand, and a huge bouquet of sable paint brushes wrapped up like flowers in the other. Justin’s eyes start watering, and then tears start rolling down his cheeks.


“Brian. This is the most romantic thing you’ve ever done.”


I raises my eyebrows…


“Okay, the second most romantic thing you’ve ever done.”


Not wasting a moment, I shove everything into Trent’s hands and pull Justin into my arms. I kiss him passionately, whispering. “I’m taking a chance on love.”


The End