Explain This Obsession…

Confessions of a Closeted QAF Fangirl…

(thanks edom56)

She Says; Explain This Obsession…

I’m drinking champagne with my sister chatting about how hot the pic of Gale was that edom56 sent me for my birthday… My sister Mary knows about my obsession with QAF and I have encouraged her to read some of my fics like; Three for the Road, Dead like Me or Bad Jen… My sweet innocent fics… I know it’s not her thing and she doesn’t really understand what it’s all about…

She says; I read that Stuck on the Elevator… I can only image what my face must have looked like; I’m thinking that was not your reading assignment… I never gave you permission to read that… breathe deeply… your ok… It’s my birthday I’m not suppose to have a heart ache on my birthday… Why is she reading my filthy little porn ficlets?

I say something like oh… was it too much? She says it was pretty over the top, I don’t get it… Explain this obsession… I hesitate for a minute and say well… it’s about the sex, the porn… I mean lets be honest and I’ve tried to be honest; as I’ve tried to ease her into knowing about my “obsession”… She says so it’s better than heterosexual porn? I’m thinking fuck yeah…

But I say, it more than that, it’s beautiful, it’s the most beautiful sex scenes I’ve ever seen… It’s about their love… But it’s not just about their love, it’s this intense need and desire that connects them. I can’t really explain. You have to watch the show to understand it.

Now she’s seen the show at my house, not my DVD’s because I’m not that brave… and I wonder why? Why have I always felt the need to slightly hide my obsession about the show? And I’m still asking myself this question and I wonder if anyone else has behaved this way as well?

So yes she has seen the show at my house on Logo in the back ground while were smoking joints and drinking wine, we can’t really watch anything together and actually watch. Because we talk all the way through everything and usually have to rewind and then make up our own dialog as we get bored with the movies…

I’ve talking about the show and the basic plot… she knows its Brian and the blonde… I told her more about it last summer when I started writing for the first time and she actually read the first ten chapters of Flashes. I was looking for feedback on my writing (she’s a writer) but she said she didn’t really know the TV plot that well, so she didn’t give much feedback. 

She was with me when I had my epiphany about McKinney and multiple lifetimes, and him being the godfather of BDSM so she is very progressive… she asked me this question just as we were walking out the door to go eat lobsters to celebrate my birthday so we never really got back to it.  I thought about giving her my DVD’s but the truth is I really can’t let them leave the house I might need them… I know it’s a true addiction…

So, all my QAF angels tell me what is this obsession? And how do you answer a question like this? Have you experienced this?