MM.Com - 3
Dec. 23rd, 2009 01:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
7wildwaysup
Title: marriagematerial.com
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 3220
Rating: R
Warnings: Angst and Passion…
Brian’s POV
I’m round the corner from anything that’s real
I’m across the road from hope
I’m under a bridge in a rip tide
That’s taken everything I call my own
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
Brian has the worst headache he’s had in along time; he’s sitting on the sofa in his office at
He walks out on to the catwalk and looks down, something very wrong… He just keeps looking at the guys and thinks this must be a nightmare. These guys all look half dead and even older than dirt…
He looks up and says what the fuck are you doing here? He’s kind of freaked out he’s thinking isn’t he dead… He looks back up at Jason Kemp and says didn’t Kenneth Ricker kill you?
Yeah… but it was an accident, you know… we were really into autoerotic asphyxiation… he was my boyfriend.
Then why did he kill him self if he wasn’t guilty?
He couldn’t stand the idea of living without me… he loved me. I would think you could relate to that… Don’t tell me you don’t think about it… and your twink isn’t even dead…
Fuck you… you don’t know… he almost was… I almost lost him…
Oh you’ve lost him… no doubt about that. I mean why would he want to be with a drunk like you? Hell your worse than your old man, I mean at least he wasn’t this far along until well into his forties. But look at you, hell even if you didn’t have the cancer your liver will stop functioning before you out of your thirties. If I were you I’d embrace the cancer, after all it could be HIV… then nobody would want to fuck you… ha ha ha…
Brian looks back at Jason and his face seems to be melting, he turns to go and runs right into Vic. Fuck Vic I need some air… I can’t breathe…
Careful there princess if you don’t start paying attention you might not able be to leave this little hell hole of yours… Now don’t let Jason get to you, he can be a real pistol.
Brian just looks around again and all the guys they all look sick, it’s not a bar at all he’s in some lounge at some rehab facility. He thinks I’m in rehab I’m I going through withdrawal… I need to lie down… I feel sick…
Justin’s POV
Christ Brian it’s not even dark outside yet and you’re wasted…
Brian stumbles forward I’m… ah… sick… then he collapses before he makes it to the bathroom.
Justin catches him as he goes down, but can’t support all of Brian’s dead weight. He sits on the floor holding Brian’s head in his lap wiping his hair out of his eyes. He feels clammy and Justin wonders how much of this is from alcohol or stress, he just hopes it’s not part of his illness. Brian looks tried, exhausted he can’t help but wonder if he’s eating or sleeping.
He wasn’t sleeping last night at 3am, I know that, but has he been up since then? I’m trying to remember what he looked like this morning and that seems like weeks ago. I’ve only been gone three and a half weeks yet I feel like I still live here, I think I’ll always feel that way.
He’s smiling up at me now tracing a finger around my mouth and whispers so beautiful… so kissable… and then he pulls me down on top of him… Yuck… as much as I want to kiss him, yuck whisky, pot, stale cigarettes and what tastes like chum from his last meal… I kiss him on the cheek and say lets get you all nice and clean.
He likes that idea, and seems to have the strength of superman as he’s lifts me with him as he stands carrying me to the bathroom. He’s still really drunk, so were sitting on the floor of the shower all wet and soapy leaning our foreheads against one another kissing and laughing and he seems to be trying to tell me something but he isn’t making any since. But he’s being terribly sweet I understand about every third or fourth word.
Something about umbrella drinks and Jason Kemp… then he says something about scarfing and starts apologizing… Now he’s crying, I can’t follow his train of thought he’s all over the place. Now he’s rubbing my head where my scar is… more tears, then kisses to my scar. I thought I was going to lose you… I can’t lose you… I won’t make it without you… more tears…
I can’t help but wonder about this man I’m so crazy in love with… the one that never lets anyone see his emotions, the one that’s a total emotional mess in my arms right now. We never really talked about it, but now I’m wondering how I would be if it was me? Did he hold me just like I’m holding him now, rocking back and forth without a clue as how to make things better… but I’m just covered with tears, soap and water, while he was cover in blood…
Brian’s POV
I’m on an island in a busy intersection
I can’t go forward, I can’t turn back
Can’t see the future, it’s getting away from me
I just watch the tail lights glowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
Fuck my head is killing me don’t they give you anything when your going through withdrawal? I’m standing at the bar again now, when Vic walks by in a nurse’s uniform and tells me the doctor will be with me soon, so have another drink. So I grab a double and tell the bartender that I’ll be in my office.
No sooner did I sit down at my desk when Jason comes in and says time for your meds, you didn’t think you were going to get away from me did you… he’s dressed in scrubs only the pants are really short like hot pants from the seventies, and his shirt barely covers his nipples. He’s wearing one of those lanyards around his neck with his badge and what seems like hundreds of keys, I notice that his badge says Babylon Entertainment and
He notices me looking at the badge and says you’re a real genius; with all the changes to the healthcare system, once we have the crypt finished in the basement there really won’t be any reason to ever leave this place. Oh here’s Dr. Jack now… I’m thinking I’m going to meet Dr. Kevorkian (Dr. Death) but no it’s my dad… Hey Sonny Boy lets go over the last minute details of your orders. Now you want the double crypt right? Have you considered adding an option for a second husband? You no he’s going live a lot longer than you and I’m sure he’ll meet someone he loves more than you. What was his name Ian? Oh right, right its Stuart now isn’t it…
I get up from my desk to leave, I can’t breathe…
My dad yells drink up Sonny Boy we’ll be here waiting for you…
Justin’s POV
He keeps slipping in and out of conciseness… and mumbling about crypts and urns and questioning if your cremated will you still go to hell? I’m wondering if he took some of that shit from Anita along with all this Jim Beam… I’ve never seen him like this before; I guess Daphne was right I don’t see him when he’s hurting… when he needs me the most… We really have to learn to stop running away from each other and start running towards each other…
He’s so restless like all his emotions are eating him up from the inside out… I guess this is what happens when you bury your feeling so deep and never acknowledge them… He seems calmer now; he’s sleeping, he looks like a little boy, a sad little boy. So I just lay down behind him and wrap my arms and legs around him, pulling him into me as I stroke his hair and whisper words of love to him. Telling him I love him, that we’re going get through this… that he’s not alone, he’s never going to be all alone again. That I’m home, that I’m not going anywhere… even if the throws me out, I won’t go… I drift off to sleep thinking about the letter I found on the floor when I came home tonight… Home… that sounds right…
Brian’s POV
I’m hanging out to dry with my old clothes
Finger still red with the prick of an old rose
Well the heart that hurts is a heart that beats
Can you hear the drummer slowing?
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
To knowing
I’m awake and the loft is pitch black… I can feel’s his arms around me and it calms me and scares me at the same time. I want it to be him, but I can’t imagine that he would ever come back here. I don’t remember going out last night, and what I do remember isn’t much… I have strange images of Vic in a nurse’s cap and some kid I can’t quite place dressed like some surgical cruise ship director blowing a whistle…
Fuck I swear I’m never going to drink again… I need to piss, I’m stand over the toilet with visions of my dad holding golden urns and showing me satin lining for coffins like he’s some interior designer of the afterlife… I shake my head and tell myself that I’m never drinking again…
I’m standing looking in the mirror thinking god I already look like I’m dead, and feel like it too. I turn to leave standing in the doorway I can see his hair glowing from the bathroom lights reflection. My breathe hitches and my heart skips a beat… I panic a little and go to the living room to see if I really did write him a letter or if that was just a dream.
Now I feel my breath racing… the living room is spotless just like I like it. But its not like I left it, I trashed this place yesterday afternoon. I went a little ballistic… I remember smashing dishes, and tearing up some of his sketch books I found. I hit the wall I remember putting my fist through the wall I turn and look around, but I don’t see any holes anywhere… Then I notice that the painting he gave me for Christmas last year is moved over a couple of feet. Yep… big hole… big bad Kinney… I look at the clock its 2:30am just about twelve hours after hurricane Kinney hit… yet amazingly alls quite on the western front..
Justin’s POV
I’m a little afraid of how he’s going to act about me being here. It’s hard to know which Mr. Kinney will show up, I just hope he doesn’t drag me across the floor and throw me out the door… so I just lay here and wait… the silence is deafening… he’s just standing; looking out the window smoking a cigarette…
I finally make my way to him, I just stand behind him and run my arms around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder placing small kisses on his neck… he leans back into me and pulls me around until I’m standing in front of him, resting my head on his shoulder placing small kisses on his neck… no words are necessary… we both know… this is who we are… it will always be this way… We both feel our muscles relax as we realize that neither one of us want to lose what we have together.
After an ungodly amount of time I say we should go back to sleep, our plane leaves at 9:30 am, we should be at the airport by seven thirty or eight… he just looks at me and says the plane to
He doesn’t fight me; he doesn’t say anything at all. But I feel his smile against the side of my face; that turns into little kisses as he makes his way down to my mouth and pulls me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he walks us up to the bed and lies me down. I can’t help but get that silly little nervous schoolgirl giddiness in my stomach… this man makes me feel things no one else has ever come close too…
Brian’s POV
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
I’m lying on top of him, resting all my weight on my arms leaning over him, kissing and running my tongue around his neck and shoulders. I can feel him shutter underneath me I love making him feel all these tortuous sensations run through him… he’s calling my name, he wants more he’s so impatience. But I need this I need to touch every part of him, to reclaim every part of him, erase all the touches from all those other men he’s felt over the last month… I can’t help but be jealous just thinking about him quivering and quaking for them…
Then I wonder why he’s here? Is it just because of the cancer? He’s so smart he senses me pulling back and he just puts his hand on my face making me look at him. He tells me with his eyes to stop, stop questioning everything to come back to him. But I can’t stop the tears that are coming to my eyes when I think about how I almost lost him again. There running down my face and I try and turn away, I’ve never cried in front of him before. But he won’t let me look away; he just smiles and tells me to let it out, as he wipes them away.
He rolls us over so he’s now lying on his back and I’m resting my head on his chest. It feels so good being held by him, he’s running his hands through my hair and whispering sweet words of love that seem so familiar… as my memory latches on to bits and pieces of last night. It feels so good to finally let it all out, years of emotions flowing through me, through us…
I feel a bond with him that I now know will never be broken, I feel safe I never want this to stop. I need him… I have this unresolved deep need inside of me… Something I’ve refused to allow myself to need since I was just a twink myself… I look up at him and smile a little, than it turns into a smirk. I reach up and grab a condom and some lube and hand it to him, asking with my eyes. Letting him know how much I need him to claim me. He doesn’t even start with a smile he goes straight to a smirk and then starts kissing he with so much passion as he rolls me over and starts running his tongue from the base of my neck, down my back until he reaches my not so round or plump ass…
I instinctively rise up on all fours allowing him better access to my tender rosebud. The student has learned very well from the master just how to please ones muse…
I’m writhing and moaning as he runs his wet wide tongue around my opening, dipping inside me, teasing me, yes I should have known that this was coming. Pay backs a bitch, and I just hope I don’t shoot all over myself before he even enter me… I can’t help but jerk a little, fuck he’s good…
I hear him chuckle and say hold on big guy… then I hear him ripping the foil wrapper of the condom, then the cool lube oozing across my cheeks and into my ass… I’m struck with an overwhelming desire to have him take me raw; it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I wonder if this is how he’s been feeling for so long, to afraid to ever ask, again…
My mind is reeling with desire I haven’t ever felt before, sure I let him top me once before but… this, this is making love this is truly being one with him… I need him now… I tell him more lube and don’t go slow, just go…
He feels so good as he enters me in one swift movement… Fuck.. Fuck.. Fuck… it burns so bad… so good… he stops and lets my breathe and muscles relax… then he’s says in a very low sexy voice: now relax I want you to always remember this… he’s such a brat… Then he leans in and starts sucking and licking my neck just below my left ear. I hear him tell me that’s good, that’s it baby just open up for me I don’t want to hurt you…
Just hearing his voice all sexy and so close to my ear sends shivers down my spine as I push back into him telling him I need him. He’s so tender with me; I can’t help but wonder if he’s actually a better lover than me. I’m not sure if I should be jealous or proud. He whispers just relax and let all your stress out I’m going to fuck your sweet little ass into the mattress…
With that he starts pumping me slowly at first, but each time he pushes back into me his thrust excel further into me until he’s finally slamming into my ass. Then withdrawing almost completely, and slamming back in. Each time hitting my prostate like a bull’s eye on a dart board, and each time I feel the dart pierce and poke me; until all those little pin pricks start humming creating ribbons of pleasure flowing into every cell of my body. I scream out his name as I’m flooded with the most intense orgasm I think I’ve even had leaving my body shaking and quivering like a wounded animal.
He collapses on top of me as he comes… I wasn’t even conscious of him pumping my cock, but his hand is now coated with my sweet nectar, as well as my stomach and our sheets… we roll over off the wet spot and I just lay there in his arms feeling safer than I’ve ever felt before, he’s home… he’s really home this time… we fall asleep in each others arms… and it seems the student is now the master…
~~~~
Daphne, what are you doing here? Just making sure everyone gets on that plane. That’s so sweet of you to see us off. I’m going with you asshole… do you really want Justin sitting there all alone while your in surgery?
TBC
