Recapturing His Heart…

[7wildwaysup]

Title: Recapturing His Heart …
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 4778
Rating: R, Porn…
Warnings: Passion, Lust…
Beta Queen:  bigj52
Challenge: The Evil Kinney Girls Club ~ May Prompt ~ Spring Fever…

Summary: What if Brian had seen the fiddle fuck kissing Justin on Liberty Avenue, and how would that change their future together?


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…



Recapturing His Heart…


“Briiiian!”


“Hey, Mikey.”


“What are you doing at Liberty Travel? I thought Cynthia made all your travel arrangements.”


“I just happen to be walking by and had an idea to take Justin away as a surprise.”


“Why? He doesn’t deserve it the way he’s been acting.”


“Michael! I told you, stay out of it. This doesn’t concern you.”


“But, Brian…”


Brian just glares at him, not wanting to hear Michael’s speculation about Justin cheating.


“Fine, but…”


Brian raises his eyebrows effectively ending the conversation.


“I guess I better get back to hanging up Rage posters. I’ll see you later.”


“Bye, Mikey.”


Brian starts to turn and walk away when out of the corner of his eye he sees Justin. He decides to say hello, and make nice, hopefully smooth over some of the tension between the two of them recently. Justin’s talking with someone that Brian assumes is one of his classmates. He’s dressed even worse that Justin, holding a black instrument case, and his hair is so greasy it’s matted down on his head. This must be that kid from the free concert Mel and Lindsay took him to see, the one whose CD Justin has practically worn out.

He’s almost across the street when the slimy tramp takes Justin in his arms and kisses him. Brian’s stunned, not that the rat chin is coming on to Justin. (I mean, who wouldn’t? He’s beautiful.) But because Justin didn’t even attempt to stop him or push him away, breaking one of their precious rules. Brian’s jealousy rages through his veins, as his heart beats faster. Just who the fuck does this slimy asshole think he is? Before Brian even has time to think about what he’s doing, or his reputation on Liberty Avenue, he pulls Ethan away from Justin’s embrace and punches him hard, letting him fall to the sidewalk.


“Brian!”


Ethan struggles to get up, bitching that his violin better not be broken, or he’ll sue him. Brian just glares down as he towers over him, disgusted by his filth. He resists wiping his hands on his designer suit, he knows better than to damage the fine textile.


“Listen, Banjo Boy, keep your greasy hands off my boyfriend! He’s taken!”



Justin can’t help grinning, Brian is actually jealous. He’s practically throwing a tantrum right here in front of the crowd that’s gathering on the corner of Liberty and Fourth Avenue. Instead of helping Ethan up, Justin leans down and picks up Brian’s briefcase and the contents that’s spilled out. His eyes focus on an airline ticket and he realizes that Brian’s going away again, which only reminds him that he’ll always come second.


Brian takes his briefcase from Justin, but his eyes never leave the fiddler. If he’s trying to intimidate Ian, it’s working. Ethan’s never been one to pick a fight, he’s always been so protective of his talented hands, and huge ego. Justin’s emotions are all over the place, and he knows him and Brian need to talk. Justin nudges Brian, trying to give him the offending airline ticket. Brian glances down at Justin’s hand, shaking his head.


“That’s for you, Sunshine.”


Questioningly Justin opens the ticket folder and sees two round-trip tickets to San Francisco.


“Brian?”


He smirks at Justin. “It must be the spring fever that’s in the air. I thought we could get away after the Rage party for a few days.”


Launching himself into Brian’s arms he peppers his face with butterfly kisses. The best part is Brian doesn’t seem to care that all the gays on the corner are watching with shock at their open display of affection. Of course it’s no secret to anyone these days that Kinney is head-over-heels for his twink. But it’s the first time that he’s expressed his true feelings in broad daylight.


Michael looks on at the commotion across the street, almost as shocked as the rest of the audience that’s gathered. Brian and Justin seem oblivious to everyone around them, lost in their own little world. They’re both just grateful that whatever was developing between Justin and the fiddler is most definitely over now.


Slowly the crowd disperses, going on their way, excited to spread the gossip about Kinney and his twink. Ethan picks himself up off the concrete, wanting to remind Justin that Brian’s no good for him, but he soon realizes that Justin’s not interested in anything he might want to say. He’s no longer even a blip on Justin’s radar. It’s seems that King Kinney has claimed his prize, declaring his victory, recapturing Justin’s heart in the process.


~~~


Smirking, Daphne listens intently to Justin as he tells her of Brian’s jealousy. She loves the part where Ethan gets punched, something she thought was long overdue. She still chides Justin for falling for all of Ethan’s pathetic romantic gestures, unable to believe that he couldn’t see how manipulative he was by trying to come between him and Brian. 


She still didn’t understand why Justin was so willing to give up everything him and Brian had achieved; he finally had the relationship he so desperately wanted. Justin always said he knew who Brian was, and that he accepted him with all his flaws.


“You do realize that you’re the one who broke all the rules you insisted on setting?”


“Yes… I know… I just don’t know why I did it. I really don’t.”


“I think you wanted to get caught. I think you wanted to make Brian jealous, to somehow prove to yourself that he really loves you.”


“Maybe… I guess I really do have brain damage, not seeing everything Brian does for me.”


“I think you should be grateful for once that Michael is a whining, interfering weasel who just had to run to Brian and tell him about you cheating.”


They both burst out laughing.


“Yeah, I bet he’s surprised that it turned out this way. No doubt he thought it would break us up for sure.”


“Well… It could have, you know.”


“Yeah, I know… I was a fool. I know it now. I just have to find some way to let Brian know how much I love and appreciate him.”


“I’m sure you’ll think of something. After all you’ll be away on vacation in San Francisco in a few days.”


Justin daydreams of them on vacation. “You know I’d rather vacation in California than Vermont any day.”


~~~


“Damn! You look hot! Is that what you’re wearing tonight to the Rage party?”


“You like it?”


“Could those pants hug your ass any tighter? God, I want to tear them off you right now.”


“So you approve?”


“I’m still deciding…”


“Brian…”


“Maybe you should save them for our little getaway…”


Justin can’t help thinking he likes this new side of Brian, one that is just a little bit possessive and controlling. He ends up dressing in his worn blue jeans, white t-shirt and blue flannel shirt, making the evening nostalgic for both him and Brian. It’s funny how that plaid flannel shirt somehow makes Brian horny as hell these days.


Later that night Michael and Justin bask in the praise of their adoring fans, the party and the comic is a huge success. All the distance and tension between Brian and Justin has now vanished as the two of them circulate, arms around each other, as they unconsciously touch and caress each other.

It’s the first time that Deb and Jennifer were privy to the erotic display of Brian and Justin dancing but what is considered by most their mating ritual. So when they exit the dance floor they decide to return to the loft not the backroom. After all, Justin’s mother is watching and they have an early flight. Neither of them noticed Ethan glaring from the shadows, hoping that Brian would somehow fuck things up, then Justin would come running back to him and into his arms.


~~~


Brian wakes to a cool breeze drifting through the balcony door. Glancing over he sees Justin holding his sketch pad, as his hand works furiously to recreate the city skyscape across the large sketchpad. Brian smiles watching him, he looks so happy. Brian’s relieved to finally see Justin’s eyes sparkling with happiness and inspiration again.


Noticing Brian’s awake he comes over and sits on the side of the big king-size bed and kisses his Adonis.


“Why are you dressed?”


“Because I went across the street to get you a latte from Starbucks.”


It’s then that Brian’s senses are assaulted by the robust aroma, delighted that he has his morning coffee. Justin grins as he takes a bite of his raspberry Danish, leaning down to let Brian lick the sticky jam from the side of his mouth. 


“Hmmm, that tastes good.”


“I thought you didn’t like pastries?”


“I don’t, I meant your lips. You know you really are overdressed.”


“Oh, you want me to give you a little strip show?”

Brian’s eyebrows go up as he grins, pulling his lips into his mouth. Justin stands and moves away from the bed, with his back to Brian as he looks over his shoulder, giving him a sultry look.  He wiggles his ass as he wraps his arms across his chest. His fingers grasp the hem of his tee-shirt as he slowly pulls the cotton back and forth to inch it up over his back.


All the while he’s dancing to a song playing in his head. He bats his eyes as he pulls it over his head, tossing it at Brian. With his arms still across his chest he runs his fingers down his sides, stroking his alabaster skin, looking like he’s being embraced by another man.


He turns, sways his hips suggestively towards Brian, latching his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans. Pulling the denim taut, the buttons on his 501 jeans come undone slightly, exposing his blond bush. Brian’s cock stirs when he sees that Justin is going commando. He sways and turns, exposing more of his skin as his waistband glides across his bubble butt.


Brian unconsciously caresses himself, as his member becomes full and hard. Noticing, Justin grins, knowing that he has Brian right where he wants him. Justin lets his pants slowly fall, still swaying his hips, then letting them fall to the floor. He steps out of them, climbing up onto the bed, crawling up Brian’s body to run kisses on the inside of his thighs. With his face grazing his thighs he nibbles and licks his way towards his treasure. His bottom is high in the air, creating a beautiful curve with his sloping back and plump ass.


The sight is almost more than Brian can take, as he starts bubbling pre-cum in anticipation of penetrating his soft globes. After watching his muscle movements as he was approaching, Brian’s almost shocked when he feels Justin’s tongue running up the length of his shaft. Consciously resisting shooting like a teenage boy, he schools himself as waves of pleasure fill his groin, completely oblivious to the fact that he just whispered Justin’s name repeatedly.


He throws his head back into the pillows as Justin swallows him whole, running his lips up and down his cock, lapping at his balls on the downward stroke. Brian grasps his long golden locks, thrusting his hips, as he feels his orgasm approaching. He knows he’ll soon explode when he feels Justin fingertip breach his rosebud.

“Oh! God! Justin!”


Justin increases his speed, milking Brian as he floods his mouth.


“Fuck! Yes! Yes! Yes!”


Justin sits back as he licks his lips, watching Brian come down from his euphoric high.


“Christ! When did you get so fucking good at that?”


Grinning, he says, “I learned from the master.”


~~~

Later that day they casually stroll around Fisherman’s Wharf, riding the cable cars, window shopping and checking out the street vendors. They ended up having lunch at The Hard Rock café, later they watch the seals down on the wharf. Then they visit Ghirardelli Square where Justin indulges his sweet tooth by buying several different boxes of the select chocolates for everyone back home, if they last that long.


Brian made them a reservation at The Cliff House for dinner, it has a great view of the Pacific Ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge. The next evening they find themselves in the Castro district, dining at Blush, enjoying a wide selection of California wines. The walls feature artwork from local artists as well as having live music to dance to. Dare I say? It was ridiculously romantic. 

Golden Gate Park

The next day Brian surprises Justin with a new set of sable paint brushes, paints and a couple of canvases the hotel concierge arranged for them, as well as an easel for Justin to use, and they spent the morning in Golden Gate Park. Justin painted while Brian relaxed in the sun, reading and posing for Justin. They had lunch in Chinatown, and made plans to go dancing that night.


Brian kidded around about how they should go down to Haight-Ashbury and try and score some E for the evening. The started out at the Midnight Sun for drinks and played a couple of pool games, then hit The Lookout. It was a friendly bar with lots of hot guys. They ended up meeting twins, Jared and Jordan, who were also there on vacation. Then someone suggested they move on to The End Up, a late-night dance club. They turned more than a few heads with their usual suggestive dancing, and ended up partying until dawn. Even though their new friends were more than interested in hooking up, they decided they wanted to be alone. But Brian got their cell phone number in case they decided to hook up later in the week.


The next day Brian indulged Justin, he realized that if he was really going to give this relationship thing a chance, he needed to show interest in the things that made Justin, Justin. So they spent a full day exploring museums, starting at The California Modern Art Gallery featuring original works by local artists. Then they visited Galleria de la Raza featuring Chicano and Latino art and culture. After lunch they hit Ratio 3 which has a contemporary art exhibit, ending their day at The John Pence Gallery that featured works from the late 19^th and 20^th centuries.


Seeing the excitement on Justin’s face and the enthusiasm in his voice Brian knew he had made the right decision. It had been a long time since he’d seen him this happy, Justin explains all the techniques used in the representations and history behind the artwork as they viewed each exhibit. Brian couldn’t help thinking that some of Justin’s drawings and paintings were better than some of these pieces, and he knew one day Justin would be hanging in galleries and museums as his career took off.

After that all they really wanted to do was relax and enjoy each other’s company, so they drove up the coast, deciding to go wine tasting in the Napa Valley. They spent one afternoon at the ocean, drinking wine, eating cheese and sourdough bread, as Brian watched him paint. Laying on a blanket, looking out at the waves, Brian knew it was finally time for them to have that long overdue talk. Even though he hated talking about their relationship, he knew they couldn’t avoid it much longer, otherwise they’d end right back in the same unhappy place they just left.


Justin senses it too, but surprisingly Brian is the first one to speak.


“I know you’ve been unhappy lately, and I understand why.”


“Brian. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything that happened.”


“Ssssh…”


“No. No, I have to say this. I never meant for things to go so far with Ethan.”


“Justin. I don’t want to talk about him.”


“But we have to, Brian… I want you to know that he never really meant anything to me.”


“Justin. I saw the way he kissed you, it had to have meant something. I felt you slipping away and I didn’t know how to stop it.”


“I shouldn’t have let that happen. I never really loved him. It was you that I loved, you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted. I just didn’t know how to tell you what I needed.”


“I probably couldn’t have heard it if you did. I wasn’t open to talking about us then. It is so hard for me to express how I feel.”


“But you’re ready now?”


“I want to try.”


“Things have to change between us.”


“I know…”


“I can’t go back to the way things were.”


“I know…”


“What I’d like, if you’ll agree…”


Justin takes a deep breath. He’s nervous, but he knows he has to say this.


“What I’d like is, if when we’re out together that it just be me and you. Just the two of us. I just can’t watch you trick anymore. It’s just too hard.”


“Justin…”


“I know… And I’m not asking you to stop tricking. I know it’s something you need to do. I just wish I was enough for you, but I know I’m not.”


“Justin… It’s not like that.”


“Brian, please. Let me finish. Moreover, I don’t want to know about your tricking. I’m sorry. I just can’t take it, and I know you say it doesn’t mean anything. But the truth is, it breaks my heart. So I just don’t want to know about it.”


“Justin, I never wanted to hurt you, and it really doesn’t mean anything. It’s just… It’s… You don’t understand…”


“I do, Brian, and I accept it. I just can’t watch you being with other men. I just can’t.”


“Justin… I don’t exactly know how to explain this… You see… When I was young… When I was growing up… My parents… What I’m trying to say is that, I didn’t grow up with parents who loved me. So…”


Brian’s voice cracks, and it’s hard for him to continue. Justin reaches out and strokes his cheek telling him that he loves him, and that it’s safe. Whatever he needs to say, that it will be okay. That he’ll always be here for him, no matter what.


“The thing is as I got older, the only way I felt loved was through sex.”


“But Brian, sex isn’t love.”


“I know… I know that… But it’s how I survived. It made me feel like I was worth something. It’s the only way I knew how to feel like I matter, like I’m worthy.”


“Brian…”


“No, please… I need to get this out. Sex is my way of validating myself, knowing that others desire me. It makes me feel… That’s it, it makes me feel. Most of the time I don’t allow myself to feel things. I’m so used to being hurt and disappointed, that I stopped allowing myself to feel any emotion at all.”


“I love you, Brian… You know that, right?”


His voice is just a whisper, “Yes… I do… and I really love you, too.”


Brian takes a deep breath, and wipes his teary eyes then continues. “So you see, that’s why I trick. I’m not saying that I can totally quit. I know it’s a crutch but I also know I need it, sometimes anyways. But the last thing I want to do is hurt you, because I do love you. I love you, you little twat.”


Justin’s been so focused on Brian’s emotional confession that it isn’t until now that he sees that Brian’s fidgeting, playing with something in his pocket.


“So I appreciate your request or suggestion, or whatever, but I don’t want that.”


Justin’s heart sinks. He’s disappointed and wonders where they go from here. He wants to run away as he just can’t keep going on like they’ve been, and has no idea what to do.


“So, Justin. Justin, please look at me.”


Now he’s the one with tears in his eyes. He turns and looks Brian in the eyes. “Yeah, I’m listening…”


“So I think… I think I’ll stop tricking. I don’t want you to worry about where I’m at, or who I’m with, or when I’ll be home. I now know how that feels, and it drove me crazy thinking about you being with him.”


“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”


It’s just starting to hit him that Brian said he was going to stop tricking. He’s not sure he heard him correctly, but he must have because otherwise that whole statement wouldn’t make any sense.


“So, I propose that we only trick together. That way you won’t have to wonder what’s going on, and you’ll see that it’s just sex. It will have to be someone that we both want, with guys that we’re both comfortable with. If either one of us says no, then that’s exactly what it means.”


Justin’s just staring at him, as he starts to comprehend what Brian is suggesting.


“Okay… Okay. I can live with that.”


Through his puffy eyes Brian grins at him, hopeful for their future, and unsure how to continue.


“I just have one question, though?”


“What?”


“What is that that you’re playing with in your pocket? It’s driving me crazy watching you.”


Brian looks down at his jacket pocket like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His eyes are wide and Justin can tell he’s back to being nervous and a little afraid.


“It’s… It’s just a little something I bought in that jewelry store we stopped in on Fisherman’s Wharf.”


“Oh…”


Brian’s starting to fidget again, and pulling his lips into his mouth that way he does sometimes.


“It’s a… I was thinking… I mean, I’m not asking you to marry me… I mean… Not right away… You have to finish school, and you know the time has to be right.”


Now Justin’s the one grinning ear to ear, the next thing you know he’s sitting on Brian’s lap, kissing him madly.


“I love! I love you! I love you, Brian Kinney!”


“Justin, it’s not a ring or anything… Exactly…”


Justin just stares at him with his hand out. “Give it to me, the suspense is killing me!”


Brian takes the little velvet box out of his pocket, biting his lip. Justin just looks at him because it sure looks like a ring box.


“I’ll get you a ring when we actually get married, but for now I was thinking we could just wear these…”


He slowly opens the tiny velvet box to reveal a pair of diamond stud earrings.


Justin’s smile is blinding as he takes the box. Then he looks at Brian and says, “But neither one of us has pierced ears.”


“That can easily be remedied. What do you say? Do you want to marry me in maybe five years?”


“Yes! Yes, I do… I so want to marry you. Whenever you’re ready. Five years or fifty-five years.”


“I don’t think it will take me that long to be ready.”


“Good! I just one more question, Mr. Kinney…”


“Yes, Mr. Taylor? And no, I’m not changing my name to Taylor, maybe Taylor-Kinney. I’ve got time to think about it.”


“That wasn’t my question.”


“Oh?”


“Does this mean you don’t want to tell anyone about this? That it’s just our little secret?”


“What? No! No! Justin, you can tell anyone you want. I’m not going to change my mind. Hell, you can announce it at Babylon, and even have a huge party. Whatever you want. I love you, you little shit, and I want this.”


It’s a good thing they’re on a secluded beach, because within minutes they’re both naked and writhing. But it’s not rushed, it’s slow and tender, seductive. The feel of each other’s hands caressing one another’s bodies is sending sparks through both of them to ignite a fire deep within.


Brian pushes Justin down onto the blanket, kissing him passionately. He runs kisses down his neck and around to his left ear, knowing it drives him crazy. Justin starts wiggling underneath him, making their flaccid cocks come alive. The wind is blowing and there’s a slight chill the spring air, but soon they won’t even notice as their bodies hum with desire.


Brian reaches for his pants to gather a condom and a packet of lube. Justin takes them from him, tearing the foil open with his teeth and rolling it down Brian’s dick. Brian squeezes a generous dollop of lube onto his fingers. He breaches Justin’s opening, scissoring his fingers around to stretch him. Impatient, Justin demands he hurry up.


“Such a horny little boy.”


“Just fuck me, Brian!”


Sliding Justin legs onto his shoulders, he has him positioned perfectly. Aligning himself, he penetrates him in one long deep push, just like he knows Justin likes it. Justin’s breathing is already increasing with expectation as Brian starts rocking in and out of him. Unlike a mattress, the sand is hard and unyielding. So Brian holds him up slightly off the ground so his back won’t get rug burns, ignoring the fact that his knees will.


It may have started out slow and tender, but it has now moved into overdrive as Brian thrusts deeper into Justin’s tight channel.  Maybe it’s all the emotions they’ve been expressing this afternoon, or the excitement of their engagement, but it doesn’t take long before both of them feel that tingly sensation building. Brian shifts his angle so he’s now hitting Justin’s sweet spot on each downward thrust.


Justin moans his pleasure as he wraps his legs tightly around Brian’s body, taking some of the pressure off Brian’s arms holding him up. Soon sparks are flying as they feel themselves combust. Waves of pleasure quake through their limbs as they’re consumed with their orgasms, feeling each other’s bodies’ shudder uncontrollably as they collapse down into the sand.


The ocean water is cold as they splash each other, trying to wash away all the sand that is now filling every crevice of their bodies. They rush to dress as the wind whips more sand across their wet skin. Once they’re back in the hotel suite, Justin runs a bath hoping they can get all that damn sand out of their hair, ears, ass and just about any place it could possibly invade. They enjoyed it while they were in the throes of passion. But now they realize that all those scenes from the movies, with lovers on the beach looking sexy as hell, is really a buzz kill after words. It will no doubt be something they laugh about later, but for now it’s a bitch.


Sadly their vacation is coming to an end, they have to fly out the next afternoon. So they drive back to San Francisco, getting caught in a huge traffic jam once they hit the city. After sitting in the same place for almost a half an hour, frustrated, Brian spots an open parking spot and parks the rental car. They get out, it feels good to stretch their legs. So they walk, searching for a restaurant, because, of course, Justin is starving at this point.

They turn the corner and see the cause of the traffic jam, they’re right in the middle of the Pride Parade. Brian groans, but Justin’s excited, he wants to march with the local chapter of PFLAG.  Brian humors him for a couple of blocks until he spots a sign advertising a tea dance in progress. As they duck into the bar they’re soon waved over by Jordan and Jared to join them.


Moments later pizza arrives, you’d think they were expecting them. It seems that Jared wanted a veggie pizza, and Jordan wanted the heart attack special, so there’s plenty of food to go around. Soon a new pitcher of beer arrives and everyone’s happy.  It was fun to party and dance one last time in San Francisco before they had to leave the next day.


Justin leans over and whispers to Brian, asking if he wants to trick with the twins before they go back to their hotel. Brian just shakes his head no, he has his hands full with his blond beauty, and doesn’t need anyone else. Justin can’t help grinning his big sunshine smile as they say good-bye to Jared and Jordan.


~~~


When Brian gets home after his first day back to work, he notices Ian’s CD in the trash. The last remnants of a love affair that never developed. Now they both know to never take each other for granted, realizing how close they came to losing one another…


The End…

Comments

[willow1965.livejournal.com]

If only this had happened instead....... Nice story. I love to see the boys working out their problems.

[7wildwaysup.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think if left on their own, without the interference of the gang. They would have resolved most of their issues. It's like Michael wanted to keep Brian the same, never letting him grow up and become the man Justin always saw in him...

Hugs Darling ~ Kathleen

[hikinggirl70.livejournal.com]

Lovely story. It would of helped their relationship if Brian did show his emotions to Justin instead of trying to hide it. The pics were great as well.

[7wildwaysup.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I agree, but I think it's Justin that he finally feels safe enough to express them to...

Later Darling ~ Kathleen