7wildwaysup | Pouty...

Title: Pouty and Shouty…
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 3130
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Michael is forced to see reality…
Beta Queen: bigj52

Summary: Michael receives a visit from his Guardian Angel who helps him get a better perspective on how his words and actions affect his family and friends.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable charters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Pouty and Shouty…

Michael is standing behind the counter of Red Cape Comics watching the snow fall. He’s lost in his memory of the last conversation he had with Brian that ended with Brian saying, ‘Mikey, for Christ sake, I can’t take all the whining anymore, give it a rest… Are you really that unhappy? When was the last time you were truly happy?’

He feels a hand smack him across the back of his head, and automatically says,’ Ma, what did you do that for?’ Then he looks up and says, ‘Who are you? Why did you do that?’

‘It seemed like what you expected to happen… so I just played along…’

Michael is greeted by a man with the greenest eyes and a pleasant smile with an almost-angelic face. He’s a slightly-built man in his late thirties with light-brown hair with natural blond highlights. He’s good looking but not sexual, almost innocent with a true inner glow and a confident, calming manner. His eyes are kind and his voice is soothing.

‘What are you talking about? I didn’t even hear you come in… Can I help you?’

‘No, No Michael… I’m here to help you. So let’s start with you answering that question you can’t seem to get off your mind for the last couple of days.’

What? What do you mean? How do you know my name? How do you know what I’m thinking? Who are you?’

‘Ok fine, I’m Tristan, and I’m your Guardian Angel and I’ve been sent by the council to help you.’

‘I don’t need any fucking help, and I don’t believe in Angels…’

‘We’ll see about that… now answer the question.’

‘What? You never asked me a question.’

‘Ok fine. When was the last time you were truly happy?’

‘What! How do you know about that?’

‘Michael, we’ve already gone over this and I really don’t have patience for idle conversation. You’re not my only assignment for this holiday season. So just answer the question?’

‘Well… I don’t know… it’s not that I’m unhappy…’

‘Ok this is only going to work if you’re actually honest… and you can’t lie to me, I already know the truth. We’re only doing this for your benefit, to help you accept who you are and help you get on with your life… which means living in the present day… not in a dreamscape of what might have been, or could be if you were still fourteen…’

‘FUCK YOU… YOU… TRISTAN…’

‘Just fuck you, Tristan… you don’t know anything…’

‘Hum… well I know that you’re never going to move to Florida and be an old queen with Brian…’

‘Who the fuck are you and how can you possibly know anything about that?’

‘Ok fine, let’s just take a look… and please correct me if I’m wrong. But first I’ll answer the question because you obviously can’t even say it out loud, and really, if you can’t even say it how could you possibly do it?’

‘The last time you were truly happy was when the new, big flat screen TV that Brian gave you for the store to promote sales of videos and video games came to life…’

It’s like floating back in time; you can almost feel the warm summer’s sun on your skin, and the smell of honeysuckle in the air. It’s a little warm and stuffy in Michael’s childhood bedroom as him and Brian leaf through some trashy movie magazine that Deb stole from the hairdresser.

‘Patrick Swayze is so HOT!!!’

Michael’s looking into Brian’s eyes, drowning in the depths of all that amber and green, as his pants slowly become uncomfortable.

Brian says, ‘Look Mikey, you have a woody. That’s ok, I have one too…’ Brian starts rubbing himself through his jeans as he focuses on Patrick’s biceps, pecks and washboard stomach.’

Mickey’s really getting excited and Brian can’t help but notice. He reaches over and undoes Michael’s pants as well as his own, and slowly starts working both of their erections at the same pace. Brian looks up slowly into Michael’s eyes and smiles as he takes them both over the edge…

Michael leans over and goes to kiss Brian when he hears Deb coming up the stairs. They both grab for the Kleenex tissues, clean themselves up and zip up. Deb comes into the room, delivers a stack of Michael’s clean laundry and tells them dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes.

Brian stands and says ‘I have to go; my Dad’s going to be home soon’ then leaves. He then proceeds to avoid seeing Michael for the most of the summer.

‘Well, that’s not my fantasy… In my fantasy he would never avoid me afterwards… We would be a couple through high school and move into together when Brian starts college. I would be the one that lives at the loft with him…’

‘Well, that’s true in your fantasy… but when Brian was fourteen-years-old you couldn’t really possibly have thought that he would be able to, or ready to have a relationship or make any kind of commitment to anyone at that time in his life. You don’t even really think he can do it now…’

‘Well, I don’t know about that…’

‘Michael, can’t you see that if it had actually happened, that you both might have felt awkward about it, avoided each other for a while and then hopefully fell back into being friends again…’

‘Why can’t we be lovers? Why can’t it be that way? I’ve always dreamt about it?’

‘For the same reasons that Emmett and Drew couldn’t be lovers right now, except that both you and Brian needed time to explore your new-found sexuality. You were just babies back then…’

‘But I really love him…’

‘No, Michael. You’re infatuated with him and it’s grown and developed into an unhealthy and co-dependent relationship.’

‘I know he really needs me.’

‘No, Michael… he doesn’t… but you don’t seem to be able to function without him…’

‘I’m his best friend…’

‘You were his best friend when he was fourteen, but that was twenty years ago… you’ve been lost in your own head in some fantasy for TWENTY YEARS…’

‘If you ever want to have a real life, you have to let go of the fantasy and stop living in your head. Can’t you see from that little scene I played for you that even if you and Brian had made it to fruition, it wouldn’t have changed anything?’

‘You don’t know… It could have been… anything is possible…’

‘Ok, You know you are the most stubborn and dense person I have ever met. I’m beginning to think that maybe I don’t even want my wings… You’re going to be impossible to reason with. You can’t even see I’m trying to help you.’

‘I’m on your side, but I’m not a miracle worker, and Brian’s fate and destiny has been set in stone for the last century. If you don’t heed my words of advice you may not have even a supporting role in his life.’

‘So now let’s try again, I’m going to show you three scenarios of ‘what if…’ Please just watch and don’t say anything until I’m done…’

Take One

What would life for the gang have been like if Debbie didn’t get knocked up by some Drag Queen…?

Deb would still work at the diner, still be president of PFLAG, supporting her brother Vic and still be with Carl, only probably married. She would still have Sunday night dinners at her house, and still feel close to the gang from getting to know them at the diner and PFLAG functions.

Brian would still be the Stud of Liberty Avenue although he might have surrendered his crown sooner to his little twink. He would still have been befriended by Debbie as a teenager when he was hanging out at the diner and grow to think of her as a confidant and parental figure.

He may even have learned to accept his anger and resentment towards his father for all the abuse, not becoming dependent on someone else to push his feelings underground and build those walls around his heart, never talking about his real feelings.

Ben is a little smarter in this scenario, and his partner is faithful, neither of them ever contracts the HIV virus, and therefore he wouldn’t have ever been involved with Michael.

When looking at this little scenario, it didn’t really affect most of the gang in a negative way, mostly because Michael never really put himself out there for other people. Sure, he could be fun to hang out with and dance with but he doesn’t really go out of his way to help people or be a part of anyone else’s life (except Brian’s).

Of course, everyone in the gang would miss him but he didn’t really change them in any grand way.

Take 2

What would life be like if Michael had grown up with self-esteem, and didn’t live in a fantasy world…?

Michael was always a little awkward at school, and he had to try harder than some of the other kids to get good grades. It wasn’t that he wasn’t smart, he just day-dreamed about comic book heroes and never really applied himself.

In seventh grade a new boy named Brian started at his school. He didn’t really understand his attraction to him, but he was drawn to him from the first time they met. Brian was a really smart kid, and always knew the answers when called on, always seemed prepared for class, having completed all reading and homework assignments.

Michael, on the other hand, rarely completed or turned in his assignments on time. Michael asked Brian to help him study after school one day, not really expecting Brian to bring his books with him. At first Michael was pissed that Brian wanted to study, and then because Brian didn’t give him the answers for his homework.

But after a few scrapes and tumbles with Brian about honesty, integrity, getting ahead in the world and self-respect Michael came around. Brian’s father was very strict with him and if he didn’t get all A’s and B’s there would be Hell to pay in the form of physical abuse.

But Brian studied hard for very different reasons than his father suspected. He didn’t want to work down at the power plant like his dad, didn’t want to live in a filthy old steel town. He wanted to experience the world and all it had to offer.

He was a good influence on Michael, once they got past all the cheating on homework, lying to his mom, and lack of self-respect. Once Michael started reading the chapters and doing the assignments he actually found school interesting and inspiring. Michael knew he wasn’t smart enough nor did his mom have enough money to send him to a major university.

He started working at the Big Q after school and on the weekends. The store manager found Michael to be a straightforward and honest kid. Michael’s boss told him that if he was willing to commit to working in the management program at the Big Q, that they would sponsor a scholarship fund for Michael to complete his college education.

After spending time with Brian, and also seeing how hard his mother worked just to get by, he knew he needed to have a college degree to succeed in today’s world. He majored in Business at the University of Pittsburgh with a minor in Literature.

Even though he was no longer obsessed with superheroes they still held a place in his heart, and when he found out how much his vintage toys were worth these days he was shocked. He worked for the Big Q the last two years of high school, through college and for six years after graduation, having made store manager.

When he was offered a position as District Manager, he considered it but eventually declined. He was in the middle of negotiating a deal with Buzzy to buy the Red Cape Comics store.

His life was going great. He had just started writing his own comic book as well as meeting the man of his dreams. Any insecurity or awkwardness he felt as a child was replaced with working hard and taking pride in a job well done.

He had learned so much from Brian over the years about standing up for yourself, reaching beyond your limits and, most of all, to accept people as they are not how you want them to be. There was a time when he would have done anything to get Brian to be interested in him as a boyfriend, and it hurt a lot getting over his childhood crush. But now he is grateful for the friendship and can see that they never would have worked, then or now…

Take 3

I’m going show you this take from a different perspective. Do you have any idea how your actions affect other people, and how you make them feel? Let’s take a look at a conversation at Woody’s between Ben and Justin…

Ben’s POV

I know Brian is very important to Michael. I just wish that for once he would think about how he makes me feel when he runs to Brian with all his problems. I’m supposed to be his partner, his husband, yet it’s always Brian he looks to. I wish my opinion was as important to him as Brian’s.

I sometimes wonder if Brian came on to him if he would even hesitate, or think twice or if he would even think about me at all. Then other times I just wish he would, and they could get it over with, then maybe he could be a full-time partner and husband to me. I wonder how he would feel if I ran to another man with every good or horrible thing that ever happened to me?

Justin’s POV

I know what you mean. I wish the relationship between Michael and Brian was healthier. It’s just not natural for anyone to be in their thirties and so dependent upon someone that’s not their partner for all their emotional stability.

It’s really affected my relationship with him and Brian. Even to this day I don’t think he accepts the fact that I’m with Brian even though Brian and I have been together longer than you and Michael.

Granted, it’s an open relationship with a couple of down times thrown in but Brian and I have loved each other from that first night together. Not that Brian could have admitted it then, but he doesn’t have any problem admitting it today.

God, thinking back to the early days, Michael must have told me every day that I meant nothing to Brian; I was just a trick, a fuck. Even if that was true which it never was, it wasn’t his place to say anything. That is what you figure out as you start seeing someone, and learning all about them.

He never missed an opportunity to tell me I meant nothing, or to put Brian’s tricking in my face like I meant nothing to Brian. He never knew that Brian and I started seeing each other four or five nights a week out of seven… right from the beginning.

And the whining…Oh My God!

Ben burst out laughing. ‘I know, I know. I actually carry ear plugs with me sometimes.’

Justin’s laughing, and says he sounds like a jealous housewife all the time; someone should follow him around for the day recording the constant whining and huffy moods…

Pouty and Shouty…

Maybe he needs Prozac…

The problem is that Deb and Brian have enabled him all these years, because they didn’t want to hurt his feelings. They can’t see that they have done so much more damage by trying to protect him. If they just let him get his feelings hurt or be held responsible for his own actions…

I’m worried because Brian’s at the breaking point; he can’t handle all the senseless drama and constant demands on his time. Brian needs mentally-stimulating conversation and let’s not mention the tone of voice when he whines.

It’s like he’s never going to grow up, he’ll be fourteen forever. Brian says he sometimes considers cutting his throat just to shut him up.

Ben says that he’s had that same thought… they both burst out laughing…

~~~~

Tristan puts his hand on Michael's shoulder, ‘Do you want to continue or have you seen enough?’

‘My partner and my best friend think I’m an immature, irresponsible, whining idiot…’

‘Michael… I’m trying to be kind… but you must know that, that’s how everyone sees you at times… Hunter is more mature than you… he’s been on the streets without anyone’s help, solely dependent on himself at times.’

‘But he’s not now…’

‘No, thankfully he has you and Ben, but he has been, and he never whined about it, not once… That’s the difference…’

‘Now think about all those little scenarios I showed you. Obviously you wouldn’t want to choose the first, but I just wanted you to see that you need to be more involved with your family and friends. You all need each other…’

‘Now if you wanted me to, I could give you Take 2 and you would already be well on your way to having a more grounded and self-fulfilled life…’

‘But I personally think you have already achieved most of those same business and professional goals. You just need to have more self confidence; maybe take a few business and computer classes; get more involved with the local business association, network and promote your comic book. You really have made great strides since leaving the Big Q.’

‘You know, I know it’s hard to change, but it can also be an incredibly rewarding experience. I think you will be much happier with your relationship with Ben if you tried to share things with him first.’

‘I don’t know if anyone ever told you this, but it takes twice as much energy to be angry and mad than it does to simply smile and walk away. Once you stop carrying around all the bitter and snarky words and actions you’ll soon realize you feel much better about yourself.’

‘Well, like I said Michael, you’re not my only assignment this season, so please think about what you’ve seen and how your words and actions affect others. Maybe it’s time to become a little more independent, and less needy of Brian. You need to let him grow up as well and accept him for who he is, not who you want or think he should be… Life’s short and most people don’t get second takes…’

The End...